The Babysitters' Club
by StatsGrandma57
Summary: Han and Leia need a break. Luke, Chewie and Threepio offer to take care of the kids. Thanks to the world's best beta, 2Old4This2 :) I know it's been forever, and Chapter 5 concludes this event with our heroes :)
1. Chapter 1

THE BABYSITTERS' CLUB

Chapter 1

Han Solo was exhausted.

He'd just finished a fourteen run to the Outer Rim the day before, and today he'd spent all day training pilot candidates. It had not gone well. Well, he thought, some days were better than others. This had been one of the others. He'd never liked the crash landing in water exercises when he was in the Imperial Navy, and he didn't like them any better now. Usually, one or two cadets needed the rescuers; this time, half the class did.

He wearily headed for the tramway to go home. He and Leia were going to have to get another speeder soon, and he feared that they were going to need the oversized version, the one that screamed, "I have children!" He didn't mind showing off that fact; he was the proudest father in the galaxy of his and Leia's seven month old twins. But the oversized speeders were clunky looking and weren't known for their nimble handling.

He was very much looking forward to seeing Leia and the babies. The moment he saw his young family never ceased to be one of the best parts of the day, no matter how badly it had gone.

The training facilities were forty kilometers from the government district, which was where their apartment was. It was the end of the work day for day workers, and the trams were packed. The only good thing about it was that he was not likely to be spotted by the holorazzi; they'd been incredulous that Leia preferred the ten minute walk to her office over a government limo service, and Han was a lot more comfortable with what they called 'the great unwashed.' Not that he loved crowds; he detested them. But anonymity was in short supply and he'd take it anywhere he could.

Han's comm went off shortly before they reached the stop at five kilometers. It was Chewie.

{You need to come to the docking bay immediately}, the Wookie barked.

Han groaned. He didn't need this right now. "What is it now?"

{I have a problem I can't figure out}.

"We have three days till we ship out again. It can wait."

{This is serious. The hyperdrive motivator is screwed up again}.

"What the hell were you doing? The hyperdrive just needs adjustment, and we do it together!"

{Just trying to save you some work. My apologies.}.

"Fine. I'm four stops away." Great, he grumbled. He was dying to see Leia and the kids, and now this. If it took any longer than five minutes, he told himself, he was leaving the mess to Chewie. And for Chewie to insist that he come forthwith meant something had really gone wrong. The chances that he would get out in under five minutes were somewhere along the lines of less than zero.

He got off, with a large cloud of other sentients, near the docking bays. Normally, the smells of grease, brine and the sweat of a thousand sentients (admittedly not Han's favorite aroma) was one he relished. He'd grown up around it. Right now, though, he was more annoyed by it than anything.

As he stepped into the bay, he yelled for Chewie.

"Chewie! You useless fuzzbrain! Where are you?"

He was anticipating that Chewie would walk down the gangplank, but his irritation turned to confusion when it was Leia who stepped out to meet him.

"Hey Flyboy! Move your ass!" Leia called out cheerfully. "We need to get going!"

Oh gods, this better not be one of her emergency trips to save the galaxy, he thought morosely. The last thing he needed was a ship full of whining delegates.

"What's going on?" he called to her as he approached.

She smiled broadly. "We've got three days off. I thought we might spend it at a lovely beach on Corellia." She wrapped her arms around his neck and he hugged her closely.

"That's great, sweetheart, but Chewie told me-"

She gave Han a wicked grin. "I put Chewie up to it."

He picked her up and spun her around slightly. "Hmm. That was a very naughty thing to do."

"Oh, I can be very naughty. And I intend to be even more naughty." She gave Han her sauciest smile.

"What about the babies?"

"Don't worry. I've got three capable babysitters."

"Well, then, we'd better hurry!" The two sat down in the cockpit and Han laid in a course for the southern continent of Corellia.

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"Sounds like they're awake," Luke announced. He'd been watching the smashball game with Chewie while Threepio was cleaning the kitchen. Luke paused the game and he Chewie went to the babies' room to retrieve them.

The twins took one look, didn't see their mommy or daddy, and Jaina began to wail, and Jacen followed suit.

"Hey, it's me, it's Uncle Luke!" Luke exclaimed as he picked up Jaina. Chewie had Jacen and a quick sniff of the room indicated that diaper changing was not going to be the highlight of their day. Luke took Jaina to the changing table and checked her. He felt as if he was going to gag. He tried a ten second meditation to try to block it out, all the while trying to keep a squirming baby still enough to accomplish the task.

{This smells terrible}, Chewie bayed mournfully.

"Don't you do this all the time?" Luke asked him.

{Sometimes, but not very often}. Jacen was equally wiggly.

"I don't know about this having kids bit," Luke said, trying to clean Jaina up and then struggling to get her into a new diaper. Now she was laughing at her uncle as he tended to her.

{At least baby Wookiees don't need changing}, Chewie remarked. Jacen had seen and heard his sister laughing so he took his cue from her.

"C'mon, guys, let's go play," Luke said to them. "Threepio? What've they got for dinner?"

The gold colored droid looked up. "I do believe there are tubs of soft food here in this cupboard." Threepio methodically scanned the shelves. "Oh dear. I believe that they forgot to restock. Now what are we going to do?"

"Maybe we can mash up some vegetables and fruit," Luke suggested.

Threepio scanned the chiller. "Actually, sir, it appears that someone failed to submit a grocery list. The cupboards, chiller and frozen units are all but empty."

Luke was annoyed, but he knew his sister needed the break. He was on Coruscant when she asked him to cover while she took her husband on a much needed three day weekend.

"Unless they can deliver right away, I guess I'm going food shopping."

"You can get one hour delivery for an extra charge," Threepio informed him.

"Never mind. I can do it faster myself. You guys think - Jacen, stop sticking that remote in your mouth!" His nephew had located the remote for the holovision and was stuffing it into his mouth, drooling all over it. Chewie tried to pull it from the little boy, and succeeded, but not without Jacen bursting into tears.

Luke decided that it would be much better if he went food shopping.

At least I know where the market is, Luke said to himself as he extracted himself from the apartment. Chewie knew how to comfort the little ones, he told himself, trying to not feel guilty about leaving.

Work had ended not long ago for a great portion of the population, and the market was mobbed. Luke realized that he had no idea what to shop for and that using the Force for this might well be useless. He had his comm and attempted to raise Threepio. Threepio was not the best about answering his comm; that had been evident from their experience in the trash masher on the detention level of the death star, where Han, Leia and Luke had nearly been crushed.

"Come on, Threepio," Luke groaned, grabbing a trolley to put things in. He and Mara split the home maintenance chores; Luke was responsible for cleaning their apartment; Mara was responsible for errands and cooking, both of which she was good at. Luke had never cooked and Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru had insisted he clean up all the time.

The signs for each aisle flashed on and off in no less than twelve languages. Luke attempted to raise Threepio again with no success. He sighed and began walking down the first aisle.

He decided to comm Mara. Mara was probably busy starting the evening meal but she could at least help him.

"I'm in the market and I'm lost," he stated simply to Mara. "I have no idea what to buy."

He was expecting her to be her crisp, efficient self. Instead, she burst out laughing.

"Hey, you're the one who shops," Luke said, annoyed with her reaction.

"And cooks," she added. "We'd starve otherwise."

"Tatooine doesn't exactly offer the most varied cuisine," Luke reminded her. "I have to get food for the babies, and some for myself and Chewie."

"Leia's weaned the babies, so infant formula, baby food, cereal rings, juices."

"Hold on, I'm looking for the baby aisle." Luke wished Threepio had informed him of the food situation earlier when the market would have been less crowded. Leia and Han weren't usually this disorganized, but it was a last minute idea by Leia to take this trip. She was supposed to head out to the Inner Rim for negotiations, but had managed a settlement via holoconference.

And he knew that Han and Leia had had no time alone since the babies were born. They were either working or caring for the little ones, sometimes both at the same time. The dark circles under their eyes had their own dark circles. Leia wasn't keen to wean the babies before they were a year old, but keeping up with breastfeeding two infants was becoming an impossible struggle.

"Okay, I found it." Luke had nearly been run over by several sentients who dwarfed him and several who'd sworn at him. Just another reason why I hate Coruscant, he thought. He kept a small apartment not far from Han and Leia's but hated being away from Yavin. Anything good and natural had long been erased from Coruscant and provided an ugly comparison to the moon of Yavin, where it was lush, green and smelled of flowers and foliage.

Luke scanned the rows and rows of food for infants of the largest groups of species present on Coruscant. Luke found the human section, but his eyes spun in their sockets at the variety and age levels, which varied according to the manufacturer. Meats, vegetables, fruits...maybe he'd just get one of everything and see how it sorted out.

He and Mara had begun discussing marriage and children. Despite their being exhausted, the intricacies of day to day life with new babies were invisible to him.

And this was just a trip to the market.

"It's gonna a be a long three days," he muttered, trying to make his way through the crowd.


	2. Chapter 2

THE BABYSITTERS' CLUB

Chapter 2

Luke felt that he'd spent a lifetime in a checkout line. He tried to use the Force to get it to move faster, but it was an exercise in futility. Well, Ben Kenobi had always insisted that the one thing the Force wasn't was magic. The two bags he toted home were heavy even for one in good shape, and Luke was. The bags mostly contained food for the babies and meat for Chewie. Fortunately, Chewie was content to eat less expensive cuts of meat. He just ate a lot of them.

The causeways were jammed with sentients of every species (and aroma, some more pleasing than others). "This is why I live on Yavin," he muttered to himself as he attempted to weave his way though the mob. He didn't understand how Leia and Han could stand it, but that was where Leia had to be.

It occurred to him that the only person he'd failed to shop for was himself. Fortunately, Han and Leia had at least twenty-seven takeaway menus on the counter. He'd order out once they'd gotten the babies fed. But first, he'd have to make it past the security doors. He hoped that Threepio and Chewie were near the comm.

He pressed on it several times before Threepio came on. "Master Luke, is that you?"

"It is, and I've got a lot of stuff, so would you mind disabling the alarm? Now would be good."

"I'm so glad you've returned!" Luke could hear at least one, if not two, crying babies behind him, and Chewie warbling to calm them down. "It's been absolute chaos -"

"Threepio, just buzz me in, okay?" It was reminiscent of the time he, Leia and Han were stuck in the trash masher on the Death Star and nearly became two-dimnesional.

"Oh, sorry, Master Luke." Threepio hit the setting to allow Luke passage into the building.

"Thank you," Luke muttered crossly as he got on one of the lifts that serviced the bank of floors containing the Solo apartment.

Luke pressed the eight-bell chime and was granted ingress. Chewie was holding the two crying babies and attempting to entertain them with a shiny object.

{I changed them}, Chewie informed him. {I've tried to amuse them, but they seem to be hungry}.

"I've got plenty of food for them," Luke said, picking up Jacen. "C'mon, big guy, let's get some dinner going on." He and Chewie strapped the wailing babies into their high chairs. Threepio opened two containers and emptied them into bowls so that Chewie and Luke could feed them.

"Master Luke, sir, I'm afraid I don't see anything that I could prepare for dinner for you," Threepio sighed.

"It's all right. I'll comm Bakura Barbecue."

"Yes, that happens often for Mistress Leia and Captain Solo," Threepio indicated. "They truly do work much too hard."

"I know, which is why I agreed to help out," Luke said. Chewie cooed at the young ones, coaxing them to eat, but what the twins enjoyed most was grabbing the spoon and trying to eat the contents themselves. However, more ended up on their faces and in their hair than in their stomachs and not an insignificant amount on Luke and Chewie. At least they were laughing, and Luke found that despite the amount of damage done to his tunic, he was enjoying them, making faces at them and singing silly songs. And it became apparent why there was a dropcloth on the floor.

{We need to give them baths}, Chewie told him.

"Well, unless Han and Leia are good with baby food all over the house, it's probably a good idea."

He and Chewie took the giggly, squirmy babies and carried them into the 'fresher. Chewie started filling the tub with water.

{They always feel sticky to me}, Chewie said to Luke.

"That's because I think they are always sticky," Luke said, undressing Jacen. Chewie removed Jaina's clothes. As Luke unfasted Jacen's diaper, the baby boy took it as a signal to urinate on Luke.

{I forgot to tell you about putting a cloth over him}, Chewie said, trying to sound penitent, but was mostly trying not to laugh. {Happened the first time Han changed him, Leia too}. Chewie chuckled.

"Well, it's not as if I have much experience with infant care," Luke said.

{Do you and Mara want children?}

"We're nowhere near that mark," Luke chuckled.

{She is very pretty, for a human. And very strong}.

"Yes on both counts," Luke laughed as he grabbed a container of baby shampoo. He had memories of Aunt Beru trying to wash his hair as a little kid, but not fond ones.

{The shampoo is very gentle and won't hurt their eyes}, Chewie explained.

The twins splashed happily in the water, and it wasn't long before Luke was more or less drenched. He couldn't relax completely; they loved splashing and now in addition to being squirmy, they were slippery.

Luke first applied the shampoo to Jaina, trying to be both gentle and thorough and in the meantime not have her slip under water. Chewie's grip on Jacen seemed to be a bit firmer, but Chewie was himself a dad and possibly had more experience, though it was unclear to Luke as to what Wookiee child care involved.

Chewie had indicated that the shampoo was not irritating but someone forgot to tell Jaina, who let out a loud wail as some of the soapy suds ran in rivulets down her chubby little cheeks.

Luke froze in horror for a moment, then accepted the clean cloth Chewie had handed him. It was not lost on Luke that Chewie smelled of wet Wookiee. Jaina continued to wail even after Luke had cleared the offending shampoo from her eyes and face. He made funny faces at her and her brother and were both giggling when the bath was ended.

Luke had felt less tired after he'd destroyed the Death Star Version One. Once the adrenaline shakes had worn off and the afterparty concluded, he'd fallen into a sound, dreamless and refreshing sleep.

He had the impression that that was not going to be the case while he was doing his best to take care of his niece and nephew.

But he did discover how nice a clean baby could smell, and found it very appealing. They had such soft skin, which Luke really noticed as Jaina put her head on his shoulder.

{You get to read to them tonight}, Chewie informed him.

Luke and Chewie carried the two babies into the living room. Threepio had gotten the apartment nearly spotless.

"Master Luke, Chewbacca, I'd like to take my leave for a while," Threepio said with some hesitation.

Luke was surprised. "Where would you go?"

Threepio took a moment. "If you must know, sir, I am the steward for our chapter of fighting for our rights as droids."

Luke's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You're serious," Luke said. "Does Artoo know about this?"

"He does, and wanted to join us, but he felt that with you away, Mistress Mara would require more assistance at the Praxium." Threepio sighed. "I do miss the glob of grease."

"He misses you, too," Luke assured him, thinking it was probably true.

{They'll want a story}, Chewie advised Luke.

"They're kind of young, don't you think?"

{Han and Leia always do}.

"Okay, okay," Luke said as he and Chewie occupied the sofa with the twins.


	3. Chapter 3

THE BABYSITTERS' CLUB

Chapter 3

Chewie and Luke tucked the babies into their cribs. Han had built them; Luke felt sure they were destined to become family heirlooms. They were beautifully and solidly built from hardwood, stained a deep reddish brown, and intricately finished with flower patterns carved in the ends. Both babies were sound asleep after being bathed, given bottles, and read to. Luke had actually enjoyed reading to them; there was something about sweet smelling, drowsing babies warm against him that almost had him falling asleep. He'd seen Han and Leia at those moments with the twins, and now he understood why they seemed so serene.

"They do sleep through the night, don't they?" Luke said to Chewie after he'd quietly closed the bedroom door.

{Not usually}, Chewie barked softly. {But they only get up once, usually. Better than when they got up every hour}.

"Sleep deprivation is a well known form of torture," Luke commented as they sat down on the sofa. Luke found the remote and turned on the smashball game. His Tatooine Glop Monsters had actually been doing well this season, which made Han even more annoyed than usual. The thought made Luke smile. "Do Wookiee babies do this?"

{Wookiee babies are always in the mother's presence for the first year. Then they go to nursery ring. So no, they do not wake up during the night}.

"That had to be a rude shock when you saw how these guys have to be taken care of."

{Yes. It is very exhausting}.

As Luke sank back into the sofa cushions, he was overcome with a monstrous wave of exhaustion that he'd never before experienced.

He never saw a single play of the game.

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Luke was fast asleep when something jarred him from his slumber. It was coming from the monitor that was on the side table (another one of Han's wood creations). He blinked groggily, and realized that there was whimpering from at least one crib. His limbs felt as if they weighed half a ton each.

Then he heard a second baby start to whine. Closing his eyes, he attempted to block out the sound, but within a few minutes, whining had escalated to out and out crying. Chewie had gone downstairs to his own place to sleep; there was no place for his hammock in Han and Leia's tiny apartment. He'd left a message on Luke's comm to wake him when the babies woke up and he'd come upstairs.

Luke decided to let the Wookiee sleep. Wookiees functioned better than humans on inadequate sleep, but he knew that Chewie did a lot for Han and Leia and the little ones.

He was guessing they'd be hungry. Chewie indicated in his comm that he'd left bottles of formula in the chiller and to heat them in the microcooker for one minute.

Luke opened the chiller, still rubbing his eyes. He couldn't remember being this tired, even after fighting some pretty horrible battles in the war. He stuck them in the microcooker and set the time.

The crying was becoming more insistent. Then Luke suddenly realized he had to feed two babies, which was going to be interesting, seeing as he only had two hands.

He decided he'd first pick up the baby who was crying the loudest. Jaina was outranking her squalling brother, but he decided to set her on the sofa while he went back to carry Jacen to the sofa. Their cries had somewhat subsided when Luke picked them up but they went right back to where they left off.

"Hang on there, guys, lemme get your midnight snack warmed up,"Luke yawned as he tried to show the babies that he could actually handle the task at hand. He tried to find the timer for the microcooker, which would have benefited from him having the lights on, but before he could figure it out, he heard a thud on the floor and one baby now screaming inconsolably.

"Oh no!" Luke ran over to where Jacen had fallen on to the floor. "Oh gods no!" He picked up Jacen, but Jacen was still screaming all the way to Corellia. He carried the little guy, rubbing the baby's back, as he retrieved his comm. Luke hit the return function and attempted to raise Chewie.

{What is it}? Chewie got on promptly.

"I dropped a baby! I mean, I put the babies on the sofa and Jacen rolled off and I think he's hurt and I don't know what to do!" Luke, normally an incredibly calm individual, was now frantic.

{I'll be right up. And don't worry. Babies are tough}.

He'd better be right about that, or Leia and Han will kill me, Luke thought, as he tried to comfort Jacen.

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Jaina continued to wail, Jacen screamed, and Luke was so overcome with panic that he failed to notice that he'd left Jaina on the sofa. Fortunately, Chewie was good for his word and arrived in haste. Anyone who thought that normally easygoing lumbering of the Wookiee meant he was harmless was seriously mistaken and usually found out about it the hard way.

"Chewie, I'm sorry -"

{Parenting is amateur hour}. Chewie took the baby boy from Luke's arms and made soft cooing noises to him. Luke picked up the crying Jaina, probably as upset over her brother crying as she was about being hungry. {If you think Leia and Han were any different, you'd be wrong}. The Wookiee chuckled softly.

"Shouldn't we take him to the medicenter?" Luke said as he tried to prepare the bottles for the two babies while holding a screeching Jaina against his shoulder.

Chewie put on one of the brighter lights in the kitchen and looked at the little boy. He actually got Jacen to smile at him. {I think he's all right}.

"But what if he just seems fine but isn't?" Luke felt as if he was about to fall apart.

{Let's feed them and then see how they are}, Chewie said as he grabbed a bottle. He tested the formula on his arm. {Too hot. Needs cooling}.

Luke shook his head mournfully. "I swear I'm never going to get this right. I can't even fix a bottle of formula."

{All these things take learning}, Chewie said as Jacen sucked on the nipple as if he was going to starve to death if he wasn't fed immediately. Jaina did the same with Luke, and the weary foursome made their way back to the offending sofa.

"I didn't know how many details were needed. I mean, they're babies. I always thought babies had simple needs."

Chewie chuckled softly. {It's mostly a matter of getting to know the baby and figuring them out. Nobody does that in a day. When Lumpy was born, I was a nervous wreck, even with all the support that the community provided to Malla and me}.

"Han and Leia make it look so easy," Luke said, keeping his tone low and soft, thus calming Jaina as she fed.

Chewie laughed heartily. {You should have seen them the first month. They had no idea what to do}!

"So they had to learn."

{They're still learning. Children are always one step ahead of you}.

Luke felt himself relax a little was Jaina drank happily and Jacen was vigorously doing the same. Jaina and Jacen had started life at similar sizes, but Jacen was getting to be a bit of a chubby baby, whereas Jaina remained petite. Jaina had been easily weaned from the breast; Leia worried that Jacen would be a full fledged Jedi before he gave it up. Apparently he'd adapted well to the new feeding method.

Luke watched as Jaina's eyelids fluttered and eventually closed. Jacen was already asleep.

"I still think we should take Jacen to the medicenter," Luke said quietly to Chewie as they tucked the babies back in their cribs.

{I think he's fine. But if you'd feel better about it, we'll go in the morning. Try to get some sleep}.

Luke, exhausted as he was, hoped that he could.

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To Luke's relief, Chewie was willing to spend the rest of the night in the apartment, and he'd fallen asleep so soundly that he was surprised to find Chewie with the babies in the kitchen, feeding them cereal and fruit.

{You look terrible}, Chewie said, but he was teasing.

"I can't remember when I was this tired," Luke groaned. Still, he couldn't resist joining Chewie and the twins. Chewie indicated that he should feed Jaina, who wasn't terribly interested in her food. Jacen, of course, was gobbling his as fast as Chewie could spoon it into him. Jaina was more discriminating and was spitting out more food than she was getting in.

"Jaina, open the hangar," Luke said in a sing song voice. "Here comes the spaceship!"

Chewie chuckled. {Leia and Han do that all the time}.

Jaina's mood brightened and with each repeat, she ate more. Luke was change the type of aircraft that entered the 'hangar,' and she thought this was marvelous. Granted, half of her breakfast was still on her face and pajamas, but she was full and happy, as was her less-finicky twin.

"They look like they need another bath," Luke commented.

{They always need another bath, but save your back and your nerves for now. We'll just change them}.

"They're sticky," Luke observed again.

{I told you yesterday, they're always sticky. Now you know what I mean}.

"You know, I keep trying to use the Force to figure them out, but it's not working."

{Their brains aren't that developed. Besides, they're babies. They don't always know what they want}.

"That helps a lot," Luke remarked dryly. "Should we take them for a walk or something?"

{It's winter. I don't know how they feel about freezing rain, but I hate it}.

"Yeah, I'm with you on that." Luke realized he hadn't looked out the window since arriving. He wasn't even sure what time it was, and for him, that was unusual. Time was important to Luke. It was strange to not even realize what day it was. Han and Leia said they'd be gone three days. Luke felt as if a week had passed already and one with no sleep.

{They like the baby holocartoons}, Chewie suggested.

"Leia doesn't want them watching too much holovision," Luke reminded him.

Chewie laughed. {We're in charge. We make the rules}. He lumbered to a basket filled with stuffed toys and plasticate cups and blocks, emptied the contents to the floor, and watched while the twins crawled at what had to be a new land speed record to them.

It was then that Luke began to take note of how many potential items existed that could be a hazard for the twins. Some obvious ones like power outlets had covers on them, but it amazed him that the living room table, which Han had beautifully finished, had no protective coating. The edges were slightly rounded but a baby, especially moving at 1.5 past light speed, could easily be injured.

{I need some groceries}, Chewie announced.

"I just bought groceries yesterday!" Luke told him.

{Yes, but I need more meat}.

Luke looked up at him. "You ate everything I got yesterday?"

{I have to food shop a lot. Will you be okay}? Chewie asked

Luke really wanted to say, whatever passes for 'okay,' but he simply said, "Sure." Jacen had seemingly recovered without incident, and Chewie never took long, especially since Luke was sure Chewie considered him incompetent.

Chewie left and Luke sat down on the floor with Jaina and Jacen. Despite his nervousness, he found that he really liked his niece and nephew. They were nearly irresistibly cute and when they were clean and sleepy, he found their presence calming. He thought of Mara. Granted, they were still far from discussing marriage, never mind children, but he wondered what it would be like to love a tiny person that was created in love. He thought about what it would be like to be joined to Mara like that. Despite their constant fog of exhaustion, Luke had never seen Leia and Han so happy.

Of course, dealing with the babies wasn't exactly turning out to be a confidence building exercise. Then again, he reminded himself, neither had training to be a Jedi.

The two were sticking the toys in their mouths and giggling and shrieking with pleasure. They'd then toss them and crawl and reach for the next item, repeating the oral treatment each time. This redefined sticky for Luke; he'd grabbed a towel to remove quantities of saliva from them, which the babies considered a great challenge. Luke made a mental note to clean them off later.

The two finally became bored and skittered over to their uncle, climbing all over him, planting sloppy kisses on him, their tiny arms reaching for him to hold them, then wiggling to be released.

Jaina slid on down off his lap, and then, before he even realized what was happening, Jaina began screaming. She was face planted with one of the living room table's legs, and blood was coming from her mouth.

Oh gods, Luke winced as he picked the little girl up, racing her into the kitchen, frantically grabbing some ice and a flimsi. Jacen began crying. The problem with twins, Luke realized, is that getting hurt affected both.

At that moment, a familiar voice, prissy and proper, spoke up. "Master Luke, may I help you?"

Luke nearly dropped Jaina. "Threepio! Don't scare me like that! Oh gods, we need to take her to the medicenter!"

If Threepio had been programmed to laugh, this would have been the moment. But instead, he said gently, "Master Luke, the children do get cuts and bruises. It's part of the learning and growing process."

"And you know this how?" Luke asked warily.

"Why, I have assimilated the contents of several hundred readings regarding human infants."

"Of course you have," Luke mumbled, setting Jaina back on the floor with her brother.

"The only question regarding survival is that of the parents."

"And babysitters," Luke added wryly.

"Yes, those as well."


	4. Chapter 4

THE BABYSITTERS' CLUB

Chapter 4

Luke was sitting on the floor with the babies, rolling balls to them and watching them try to maneuver them back to their uncle. Jaina's lip had a cut on it but it was nowhere nearly as terrible as Luke imagined it had been. She was acting as if nothing had ever happened, whereas Luke was still shaken a bit. The twins were laughing and giggling.

And then the room become aromatic, and not in a good way. Luke groaned; it had only been two days and he'd lost count of how many diapers he'd had to change. Chewie was out food shopping, naturally, so the task fell to Luke. First he had to determine which baby smelled foul, so he picked each one up. It was Jacen.

"C'mon, big guy, let's get you cleaned up," Luke said, carrying the little boy to the bedroom. He turned to Jaina. "And you, stay out of trouble." Of course, Jaina's response was to begin crawling after them. She was, by Luke's approximation, crawling at the same rate as the _Falcon, _ assuming the hyperdrive was functioning properly.

Luke did find that he could change diapers faster than the day before. He still felt as if he needed a gas mask, but he was mastering the task. He'd watched Han and Leia try it when the twins were just born; now they did it without flinching. Most of the time, anyway.

"Only thirty-six standard hours till reinforcements arrive," he said to himself. He felt vaguely guilty for being aware of it; he loved his niece and nephew. But never having been around babies, he had no idea how much work they were and how exhausting caring for them could be.

Despite all that caring for them involved, Luke did, for the first time, feel the stirrings of perhaps wanting to have children of his own - someday. He and Mara had implied that they were thinking of marriage, but Luke had yet to propose to her, and her signals were of the sort that said 'wait a little while.' They were strong in the Force and the Force encompassed the love they had.

Celibacy had been required of the Jedi for over a thousand generations. Anakin Skywalker, tragic figure though he was (to Luke's mind; Leia felt more ambivalent), had desired love and family. Luke wondered what would have happened had his father's desire for power had not consumed him. Perhaps he and Leia would have grown up together, played together, had ordinary lives.

No, he told himself, that would never have happened. Their mother was Queen of Naboo, their father a Jedi. Normalcy was out in any scenario.

Luke did feel that the kids should start training at three, perhaps four; that had been vetoed repeatedly by Han and Leia. They were adamant that their babies have normal lives, or as normal as possible in view of the fact that their parents were public figures. The official position was that no photos of the children were to be taken by anyone who was not a close family member. That didn't stop all of the holorazzi from trying, but generally the word 'lawsuit,' if applied directly, silenced some of them.

And truth be told, he'd never seen Han and Leia as happy as they'd been in the last six months. They were chronically exhausted but in all the holos (and there were a lot of them), they were smiling. For them, he realized, these children were love made flesh.

His thoughts traveled to Mara, and how much he loved her, and what it would be like to bring life into the world with her. He thought back on how Han had looked at Leia while she was pregnant, and there was some understanding of that.

And there was something miraculous about watching Jaina and Jacen exploring their world, everything new and amazing. Of course, there was drool involved. The twins stuck everything in their mouths, and didn't discriminate. Hence, the exhausting perpetual supervision.

"Jaina, honey, don't put the holoremote in your mouth," Luke said, jolted from his thoughts and realizing that not only was the holoremote being drenched in saliva, but also contained a battery for power. Luke had never been a spectacular student growing up, but he knew enough that moisture + batteries generally was not a good combination.

Luke had never even considered that something so mundane as a holoremote could be hazardous. How did parents learn all of this? How many details were involved in managing a small child? His mind was boggled.

"Jaina, let me have the remote," Luke coaxed her. She shook her head and refused to take it from her mouth. Finally, realizing that reasoning with a six month old was an exercise in futility, he snatched the remote from her, which led to her screaming at the top of her lungs. Luke went to the toy basket. "Here, sweetie, how about this?" The item felt heavier than he thought a child's toy would be. This was, he realized, no toy; it was the comm that Leia had to replace last month because she 'lost' it. He put it up on the kitchen counter.

Jaina continued to carry on, and Jacen, hearing her crying, began to sob on his own. While trying to comfort the babies, his comm started to go off. It was on the kitchen counter and he was trying to carry two infants, who began to feel heavier each time he picked them up. Finally, after a crossing from the living room that felt as though it was twelve parsecs away, he grabbed the comm.

"Leia!" he gasped. He had set the twins down on the floor, and that made them cry even more.

"How's it going?" Leia asked, smiling. She looked and sounded completely relaxed.

"Oh, fine, it's going fine, I took the holoremote from Jaina and she's not too happy with me."

"Sounds about right," Leia said languidly.

"You guys having fun?" Luke asked. "Oh gods, it's lunchtime, I gotta get lunch ready for these guys."

"It's been wonderful," Leia told him. "We'll be home tomorrow early evening. Sounds like the kids are in good hands."

I'm not sure I'd go that far, Luke thought, but didn't voice. "See you then," he said to her.

"Bye for now." Luke could tell she was snickering. Sometimes being Force sensitive could be a real nuisance. On the other hand, she hadn't accused him of trying to murder her offspring, which he'd feared. He really had no idea what he was doing; he was making it up as he went. Leia had offered no advice, either. Maybe this was their new normal and they had been just as clueless as he was now.

Maybe I'm a little less ready for parenthood than I thought, he told himself.

Much of the lunch Luke served ended up, as usual, on the floor and all over the twins' faces and hands. A not inconsiderable amount was on Luke as well. They'd returned to good humor at lunch, but then started to whine.

"I hope you guys are ready for a nap, because I'm tired," Luke informed them.

He changed the babies - it seemed as if they were constantly needing new diapers - and set them in their cribs. Immediately they began wailing.

"Oh, I forgot." The twins were loathe to sleep at any time, day or night, without a story first. And it was always the same story - "The Little Lost Bantha Cub." He'd lost track of how many times he'd read it since arriving two days ago. He cuddled them against his sides, and began to read the story. They weren't asleep when he finished the story, but they seemed comfortably drowsy.

Then, as soon as he tucked them in their cribs, Jacen began to cry again, with Jaina soon joining in.

"Forgot the bottles," he muttered to himself. "Just getting them down for a nap needs more planning than a major battle."

Bottles finally ready, Luke distributed them to the complaining twins, who promptly stopped grumbling and replaced it with contented sucking. Luke softly closed the bedroom door and headed for the sofa. The living room was a mess and needed a cleaning, but he decided he'd rest for a few minutes.

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"If only we didn't have to put on clothes to eat," Leia said, smiling at Han. Their vacation had largely consisted of amatory activities, mostly in bed and in the water shower, but they also had a private spa tub on the balcony and that, too, had gotten a workout. They'd only dress for meals and for walking along the beach.

"It's that or we order nerfburgers again," Han said to her. The hotel they were staying at was small and elegantly appointed, but the room service menu was extremely limited and they'd manage to eat everything on it.

"I'm thinking a little variety might spice up our lives," Leia remarked teasingly.

"What? I haven't offered variety?" Han looked mock injured.

Leia gave a melodic laugh. "Flyboy, you've been nothing if not inventive. Which is why we need to keep our strength up."

"There is that." Both laughed and Han wrapped his arms around Leia the way he'd done the first time they ever kissed, but lasting much longer. "Say, you heard from Luke or Chewie?"

"I talked to Luke a short time ago. Sounds like he's got things under control." Leia began to laugh. Han grinned and joined in.

"Lemme guess," Han said as he was laughing, "the babies were crying, the house is a mess, and Luke looks like a warmed over corpse."

Leia agreed. "Pretty much. Now let's get some food so that we can refuel for our next session."

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	5. Chapter 5

THE BABYSITTER'S CLUB

Chapter 5

The twins were having their dinner the following evening when Han and Leia returned. Anyone who had never been parents of infants would have been appalled at the sight that befell them: Jaina and Jacen flinging their food everywhere but their mouths, and that included Luke; toys and other detritus all over the living room floor; and a brother/brother-in-law who'd looked better after fighting some of the ugliest battles of the Civil War.

The babies, naturally, were thrilled to see their parents and extended arms, babbling and gurgling cheerfully. Leia and Han picked up the babies from their feeding chairs and snuggled and made faces and had both Jaina and Jacen giggling.

"It's a good thing they can't talk," Luke remarked dryly. "Otherwise they'd be telling you how horrible it is when your uncle doesn't know the first thing about babies."

"I'm sure it's nothing that twenty years of therapy won't cure," Han said, kissing his daughter and whirling her about.

"I really did try to clean up," Luke said to Leia.

"Oh, this is how it always looks these days. We really need a cleaning droid. Threepio does some of it, but twenty minutes after it's done, you'd never know," Leia assured him as she held Jacen up. Jacen was happy to be held and kissed by his mother. "Hey, little man, were you good for Uncle Luke?"

"Doubtful," Han remarked.

Luke yawned heavily. "They were fine. I'm just -"

"Exhausted," Leia and Han said in unison, and laughed. Han and Leia exchanged babies and took them to the living room.

"How do you guys do it?" Luke asked. If the Force had ever failed him, it was in child care.

Leia and Han looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Kid, we're making this up as we go," Han assured him.

"As for exhaustion, it's a way of life," Leia said, laying a hand on her twin's shoulder. "I'm guessing that they didn't sleep through the night."

"Uh, not exactly," Luke said.

"We keep hoping," Han said.

"They are really cute," Luke conceded. "And fun, once you get past the diapers and the drool."

"We won't miss those," Han assured him.

The entry door slid open, and it was Threepio and Chewie, newly returned from the food markets.

"Mistress Leia, Captain Solo, you've returned! How was your vacation?" Threepio greeted them. Chewie gave a happy bark as well.

"Too short," Leia said.

"But great," Han added. Both looked well rested, the first time either had seen them that way since the twins had been born.

"Chewbacca and I noticed that supplies were running low, so we took it upon ourselves to restock," Threepio announced as they set the containers down in the kitchen.

Luke blushed. "Sorry. I wasn't paying attention very well," he said.

"Welcome to my world," Leia said, placing a hand on her brother's shoulder.

"You guys seem like you can do it all without breaking a sweat," Luke commented.

This succeeded in bringing on gales of laughter from his sister and brother in law. Luke was a bit annoyed, but figured out in a hurry that they weren't making fun of him, but themselves.

"When Leia and I brought them home, we had no idea what we were doing," Han said, still laughing.

"Forget that. When Jacen was handed to me to nurse, I'd completely forgotten how!" Leia marveled. "We'd gone over it in parenting class, but it's a lot different when it's a real live baby! You think these would be natural, as it is for a lot of species, but often, it's learned. I don't think I ever learned as much and as short a period of time as these past six months."

"Same here. They teach you a lot about yourself while you're learning about them," Han told him. "Like, how little sleep you can survive on." This brought about a burst of laughter, even from Chewie.

{Don't forget, the first time you tried to change Jaina, you had no idea what to do}, Chewie gleefully reminded Han.

"You have a diaper, and you have a baby. Simple enough, right? Ha!" Han laughed at the memory. "And the thing about babies is, they move. A lot."

"They do squirm," Luke conceded. "They got hurt a couple times -"

"Luke, kid, realize this: if they never get bumped or bruised, you're not letting 'em be kids. Goes with the territory."

"A serious injury is a different matter," Leia told her twin, "but most of the time, they forget about it as soon as you put on the steriskin. And thanks to all those rapidly dividing cells, they recover a lot faster than we do."

{Children are built to survive. It's the parents who might not}, Chewie said, laughing. He'd been through a fair bit with Lumpy on and off over the years.

Jacen and Jaina were back on the floor, crawling over to Luke. He picked up Jaina and then her brother, making funny faces at them, listening to them laugh.

"So did we scare you away from having kids forever?" Han joked with Luke.

"Actually...I think it'd be nice to have them. Someday."

"You should probably ask her to marry you first," Leia advised.

"Yeah, someday, I'll get around to it." He hugged Leia and shook hands with Han, and picked up each baby to kiss and hug. Threepio wished him a safe journey home, and Chewie nearly lifted him off his feet.

The twins burst into tears as they watched Luke depart.

Luke smiled. He only hoped that he could stay awake long enough to get home.


End file.
